Sunday, February 20, 2011

Freeze Tag was NOT a Great Idea.

So...we had our first ER visit.  We are probably pretty lucky that we made it to age 4 years 27 days before having to take our girl to the hospital for anything, especially considering the things that have happened to her, like when she rolled off the changing table and I caught her by her dress, or when Claire and I were outside with the dog, who pulled on the leash, thus pulling my arm out from under Claire, causing her to spin to the ground.  Don't worry, I caught her by her ankle, her little 9-month old head inches from the grass, while a busload of Geneva school kids looked on.  We should have been there years ago, but our first visit happened on a normal Monday night.  I blame Winter for this little accident.

You see, two weeks ago, Jeff came home and suggested that we start a family game night tradition on Mondays.  It sounded like a great idea!  We ordered Chinese food, I changed into my nastiest, tightest, most worn-out, used to be black but aren't anymore, yoga pants and hooded sweatshirt and got ready for a great night.  Why is my attire important to the story, you ask?  Well, because when I put that get-up on I did not expect to be going out into public, but little did I know, I would be, in all my yoga pant glory.  During dinner, Claire started talking about freeze tag.  While discussing the rules and strategies of the game, Claire just assumed that we would be playing it after dinner.  And hey, it's February, the weather has been crappy for months now, and we've been cooped up inside with nothing really exciting going on.  What better way to get some energy out than an awesome game of indoor freeze tag??

Hindsight is 20/20.  There are actually way better ways to spend a Monday evening than playing freeze tag, and ultimately, spending 4 hours in the Emergency Room at Geneva General Hospital.  I could probably come up with a list of at least 100 ways we could have gotten our energy out, none of which involve split chins and stitches.

So this is how it went down...literally.  We played one round of freeze tag with Daddy as "It".  Next, it was Claire's turn.  She came flying through our front entryway, slipped on the rug, and face-planted in the living room near the fireplace.  I was standing near the fireplace and watched the whole thing, obviously in slow-motion, helpless.  I am not kidding, nor am I exaggerating, when I say that her legs flew out from under her body, she went airborne, and then crashed to the floor.  Instantly, there was blood on the floor and Claire was screaming.  Jeff took one look at it and decided we were going to the ER.  I hadn't looked at it and said, "Are you sure?"  Later, while at the hospital, when I finally got a look at it, I understood why we were there.  It was quite the gash...I don't think I've ever seen anything like it.  Nonny and Poppy came to watch Jack and we rushed over to the hospital, holding a paper towel under Claire's chin. 


The lovely nurses replaced our paper towel with some nice, sterile gauze and tape.  Here, we are in our little room waiting, and Claire got to watch "Cars" on the Disney Channel.  Of course, that was only after we asked for help changing the channel, since "Two and a Half Men" was on when we got in the room and to say it was inappropriate would be the understatement of the millenium.

When we went into triage, the nurse asked Claire what had happened, to which Claire replied, as only Claire could, "Wellllllllllll, my DADDY thought it would be a great idea to play freeze tag in the house, and it wasn't!"  Poor Jeff, thrown under the bus, when all he was trying to do was institute a new fun family event.  I will spare you the boring details of the hospital, but it does involve a doctor who attempted, with a very incompetent helper, to glue the skin back together.  When that didn't work, poor Claire had to get 4 stitches.  It was terrifying for her, and she cried, but she was very brave and let the doctor (and a new nurse, whom I have equated to an angel of God) do his job.  While she was waiting for her stitches, a nurse promised Claire some apple juice once it was all over.  Within seconds of the last stitch being placed, the nurse said to Claire, "I'm going to go get you a special bandaid to put on there," and Claire perked right up, still sweaty, with tears on her cheeks and said, "Don't forget the apple juice, silly!"  Turns out, they were actually out of apple juice, so her choice was cranberry juice or a popsicle.  Quick, don't look down at the picture and guess what she chose???

If I post here that OxyClean took out those big blood stains (right arm, on the purple and blue stripe and at the neck) do you think anyone from their company would float me some cash for advertising?  Because I was SURE that I was going to have to throw that dress away, and indeed, I did not. 

Really?  You guessed the cranberry juice?  Silly...she chose the popsicle!  Since we got home after 11:30pm, Jeff and I both called in to work and stayed home with Claire.  Jack went to daycare so that we could all rest after our long night.  During the stitches I promised Claire I'd take her shopping.  I told her I'd take her out to lunch and that she could order dessert.  If she had asked if I would take her to Disney World, I can guarantee you that I would have made it happen.  When we asked Claire what she wanted to go shopping for, she picked the mermaid garden kit from Wegmans that we had gotten for Natalie's birthday a couple of weeks earlier.  We took her to Eddie O'Brien's for lunch, and she was too full for dessert.  I'm going to have to have a discussion with Claire about a little thing we all like to call "milking it".  Obviously, I haven't done a very good job of modeling this behavior up until now.  In the meantime, she's just guilting poor Daddy into thinking that he destroyed her chin.  Just ask her, and you'll get the same, "Wellllllllll........my DADDY thought it would be a great idea......"

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Future Bobby Flay

Jack has a new obsession.  He still loves sports balls, soccer, football, basketball, tennis, pretty much anything spherical that can be thrown across a room.  But he is loving the kitchen.  I have to hold him the entire time I cook, which is not easy, given that he weighs one-quarter of my own body weight.  Um, yeah.  So I end up with quite a backache by the time dinner is ready, and I've even been putting him in the back carrier so that I can get dinner made with  minimal tears (his or mine).  Then I came up with an idea.  I thought back to the success of the snow in the kitchen (which is a super activity, but I can't really deal with a mess of that scale every night at dinner time) and I revamped it a little.  I pulled out a pan, filled it with some ice cubes, and gave him a spoon.  Voila!  Instant entertainment!




The only problem I'm now running into is that Jack insists on taking out every pan we own and dumping the ice from one to the other, leaving me with at least four extra pans to wash once dinner is ready.  A child-proof latch on the pan cabinet and we'll really be in business!  The next solution is that I'm going to enroll him in cooking school and relinquish all kitchen duties to him, effective immediately.  It's not child labor when it's something they enjoy, right??

Snow Day, Take 2

In January (whatever day, I can't even remember now!) my school was closed because we had a very cold, sub-zero day.  February 2 we had a real, actual snow day, with real, actual snow, not just cold temperatures.  Geneva even closed, which never happens, so Daddy was home all day.  Oddly enough, we didn't get anywhere near the snowfall amounts that were predicted.  We were supposed to get somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 inches, but we only got a few.  The storm was predicted to be so horrible that schools started closing the night before.  I say, the only thing better than a snow day is knowing the night before so that I don't have to set my alarm!

So, I relented.  I gave in to the begging, dragged out the snow pants, and out we went!  It was surprisingly warm that day, in the 30s, so we stayed out for over and hour.  I'm only slightly embarrassed to admit that it was February and Jack's first-ever time out in the snow.  Slacker mom, what??

 A little unsure at first...

 But walking around like a pro in no time!

 One of my favorite pictures of my little girl yet! 

 Working on a snowman!

 It's serious business, getting that snowman's mouth just right.

 My girl was so proud of her snowman!

 Mr. Serious, as always.

He really did like the snow...despite what the pictures show.  And can I just say, look at those cute red cheeks!  My sweet boy.

So....it's still cold out.

We are running out of ways to entertain ourselves.  We're so over winter.

 Jack's new favorite toy is Claire's Barbie.  He loves that it lights up and plays music.  So, he runs around and dances to it, much to Daddy's chagrin.  Yes, I just used the word chagrin.  Who says I have a poor vocabulary?  Oh, wait, it was me that said that...just trying to prove otherwise.

 Bob the Builder, can we fix it??  Yes, we can!

I know exactly what you are thinking.  It goes something like this, "Wow!  Look at that!  What an amazing mom Betsy is.  She lets her kids do cool stuff like build a snowman in the house.  Man, I wish I could be like her.  She's such an inspiration to moms everywhere.  She makes me feel so inadequate."  Allow me to console you.  This indoor snowman is perfect evidence that I'm crap as a mom.  Claire has been begging me to take her outside and build a snowman since the first flakes fell in...well, months ago.  Flat out, I'm too lazy.  By the time I layer on their clothes, then (find and) put on their snowpants, coats, mittens, hats, and boots, someone inevitably needs to pee, or have a diaper changed.  We get outside and it's so cold that we last all of 10 minutes, only to come inside and deposit mass amounts of snow on the kitchen floor while I take off said layers of clothing, and then try to find a place to hang all of the clothing to dry.  Not.worth.it.  So, I took a little inspiration from the real World's Best Mom (Kristine Ackerman) and brought some snow inside.  Perfect!  I implore you to do the same.  Yup, just said implore. Try not to be too astounded.  Now go fill a container with snow and let your kids play on the kitchen floor while you make dinner.  Then tell me how much you love me for my inspiration, cool ideas, and the fact that your house is now quiet.