So...we had our first ER visit. We are probably pretty lucky that we made it to age 4 years 27 days before having to take our girl to the hospital for anything, especially considering the things that have happened to her, like when she rolled off the changing table and I caught her by her dress, or when Claire and I were outside with the dog, who pulled on the leash, thus pulling my arm out from under Claire, causing her to spin to the ground. Don't worry, I caught her by her ankle, her little 9-month old head inches from the grass, while a busload of Geneva school kids looked on. We should have been there years ago, but our first visit happened on a normal Monday night. I blame Winter for this little accident.
You see, two weeks ago, Jeff came home and suggested that we start a family game night tradition on Mondays. It sounded like a great idea! We ordered Chinese food, I changed into my nastiest, tightest, most worn-out, used to be black but aren't anymore, yoga pants and hooded sweatshirt and got ready for a great night. Why is my attire important to the story, you ask? Well, because when I put that get-up on I did not expect to be going out into public, but little did I know, I would be, in all my yoga pant glory. During dinner, Claire started talking about freeze tag. While discussing the rules and strategies of the game, Claire just assumed that we would be playing it after dinner. And hey, it's February, the weather has been crappy for months now, and we've been cooped up inside with nothing really exciting going on. What better way to get some energy out than an awesome game of indoor freeze tag??
Hindsight is 20/20. There are actually way better ways to spend a Monday evening than playing freeze tag, and ultimately, spending 4 hours in the Emergency Room at Geneva General Hospital. I could probably come up with a list of at least 100 ways we could have gotten our energy out, none of which involve split chins and stitches.
So this is how it went down...literally. We played one round of freeze tag with Daddy as "It". Next, it was Claire's turn. She came flying through our front entryway, slipped on the rug, and face-planted in the living room near the fireplace. I was standing near the fireplace and watched the whole thing, obviously in slow-motion, helpless. I am not kidding, nor am I exaggerating, when I say that her legs flew out from under her body, she went airborne, and then crashed to the floor. Instantly, there was blood on the floor and Claire was screaming. Jeff took one look at it and decided we were going to the ER. I hadn't looked at it and said, "Are you sure?" Later, while at the hospital, when I finally got a look at it, I understood why we were there. It was quite the gash...I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. Nonny and Poppy came to watch Jack and we rushed over to the hospital, holding a paper towel under Claire's chin.
The lovely nurses replaced our paper towel with some nice, sterile gauze and tape. Here, we are in our little room waiting, and Claire got to watch "Cars" on the Disney Channel. Of course, that was only after we asked for help changing the channel, since "Two and a Half Men" was on when we got in the room and to say it was inappropriate would be the understatement of the millenium.
When we went into triage, the nurse asked Claire what had happened, to which Claire replied, as only Claire could, "Wellllllllllll, my DADDY thought it would be a great idea to play freeze tag in the house, and it wasn't!" Poor Jeff, thrown under the bus, when all he was trying to do was institute a new fun family event. I will spare you the boring details of the hospital, but it does involve a doctor who attempted, with a very incompetent helper, to glue the skin back together. When that didn't work, poor Claire had to get 4 stitches. It was terrifying for her, and she cried, but she was very brave and let the doctor (and a new nurse, whom I have equated to an angel of God) do his job. While she was waiting for her stitches, a nurse promised Claire some apple juice once it was all over. Within seconds of the last stitch being placed, the nurse said to Claire, "I'm going to go get you a special bandaid to put on there," and Claire perked right up, still sweaty, with tears on her cheeks and said, "Don't forget the apple juice, silly!" Turns out, they were actually out of apple juice, so her choice was cranberry juice or a popsicle. Quick, don't look down at the picture and guess what she chose???
If I post here that OxyClean took out those big blood stains (right arm, on the purple and blue stripe and at the neck) do you think anyone from their company would float me some cash for advertising? Because I was SURE that I was going to have to throw that dress away, and indeed, I did not.
Really? You guessed the cranberry juice? Silly...she chose the popsicle! Since we got home after 11:30pm, Jeff and I both called in to work and stayed home with Claire. Jack went to daycare so that we could all rest after our long night. During the stitches I promised Claire I'd take her shopping. I told her I'd take her out to lunch and that she could order dessert. If she had asked if I would take her to Disney World, I can guarantee you that I would have made it happen. When we asked Claire what she wanted to go shopping for, she picked the mermaid garden kit from Wegmans that we had gotten for Natalie's birthday a couple of weeks earlier. We took her to Eddie O'Brien's for lunch, and she was too full for dessert. I'm going to have to have a discussion with Claire about a little thing we all like to call "milking it". Obviously, I haven't done a very good job of modeling this behavior up until now. In the meantime, she's just guilting poor Daddy into thinking that he destroyed her chin. Just ask her, and you'll get the same, "Wellllllllll........my DADDY thought it would be a great idea......"
